My husband is wearing high heels

It’s always the same question: can you wear pumps as a man? And the only answer is: hell yes!

In this post at first I’ll tell you everything about my first steps in heels. I also write about where I prefer to buy my shoes and a few more experiences as a man in high heels.

Gently approach or a jump into the sea?

How did I started to wear heels? Well, I have to admit, that in the end you are always smarter. Of course. And that’s why I can tell you: I made the journey unnecessarily difficult for myself. It definitely could have been more easy and chilled… Nevertheless, I would like to emphasize that the way I got into high heels probably was the best way for me. 

The story I am telling you about covers up at least more than a decade! It includes safe spaces, closed curtains, heart attacks and dump thoughts. But in the end it remains a never-ending story.

I probably owned more shoes in my life than an “average” woman is considered to own. And all these shoes have been sold (second hand) again, involuntarily donated or given away. And all that just because I was too shy to admit that these shoes were my shoes.

Sometimes I said, that they belonged to a friend who had “forgotten” them at my place, sometimes they were my ex’s shoes – so on. But hey, who forgets to take his or her shoes with them? At least you need shoes when you are leaving the house. So I think no one really believed me. Honestly spoken I lied every single time. And whenever someone had found them, I just laughed and gave them away. Too bad actually… too much money, really hot shoes and in the end there were thousands of thousands of lies. And the most funny part of the whole story is, that nowadays when I am telling the truth: again, nobody believes it… so there is nearly no difference, is it?

The first time I wore so called women’s clothing in public was more than ten years ago in a denim mini, gray boot heels and a women’s winter jacket. I wore it on the footpath between two areas of the town we lived in. I had my (ex-)girlfriend with me and we walked from her house to mine – at night at 1 o’clock in the winter on a slippery street… and to be honest we were anything but sober.

For her it was kind of a “funny” thing forcing me to walk in this outfit. She always chalked it up to a “dare” anyway. She thought, that I don’t “want” to do it, so kind of a humiliating thing. I played my role pretty good! Until, after two years, I slowly ran out of arguments for even more clothes, shoes, etc.

She was also the one who first put me in a flared leo skirt at carnival, with a pink top and black ballerinas – anything else would have been too hard. But my first real public experience in high heels came almost two decades later.

My first pair of “own” high heels

So I bought the first pumps in black and wore them – of course – on carnival. It was the first time in public. First time on a party. First time when others can see me. But it was carnival. That is then the so-called protected setup. No one will assume, that it is a passion and not just a disguise or “fun”. Im Germany we have an event called “Altweiberfasching”, which means old women carnival – literally translated. On that day everyone who wants and dares to do it dresses up as a woman.

The first time on heels in a store

Not really carnival, but again a very different and safe environment, would then be the erotic scene. Yes, you read that right! One day I suddenly wore extreme heels in an erotic boutique in Hamburg (famous for its large erotic strip). Suddenly I stood in front of sales persons and other customers! But I have to admit that I did not enter the store with heels. It was my wife’s idea to try them on. And so I did! 

Those kind of heels were reeeally high! But it felt great.

In the end I played the game and wore an absolute full montour in the locker room. Black platform shoes, red corset and a dress – with my wife always on my side.

Now things are getting serious

The pattern with the black feminine shoes in public returns again and again, so it is constantly present in my life. On my first time being in public during the day, without any reason like carnival etc., was in black heels. To be more precise I wore black ankle boots. For me it was a little scary at first, because you could “hear” me while walking. And in the morning hours it wasn’t very loud in the surrounding. Is just something completely different than walking in shoes with normal rubber soles. But it was no problem at all. I walked from the hotel room to the elevator and from there through the crowded hotel lobby to the reception, as if it is totally normal for a man to wear high heels. It’s all about mindset! As far as I could tell, not even one person turned around and looked at me.

And that’s the point! No one really cares about you! They are busy with their own feelings and thoughts. And as long as you do not care of others as well, everything is fine. Of course there are people who definitely will look at you and your style. Some might react offended. Some interested. Others amused. And again others will react supportive. But it would be the exact same situation when for example your shirt would be dirty or something else. But nobody will harm you. No one will throw things at you. They will “just” look! But they would look even if you are a woman wearing heels! There will be people that will have an eye on you and your shoes. And that’s simply because the shoes are loud and beautiful! And if you’d wear extreme heels in a local restaurant, they will look at you also. Because you are different! You do not match into the whole situation. And from my perspective nowadays not many men are brave enough to wear heels in public – so that phenomen still is “different” and that’s why people will look at you. 

Sure, my heart beat and my adrenaline level were really high during the walk through the hotel lobby. At least over a dozen couples waited at the reception to drop their keys and pay the bills. People walked in and out. And outside on the street, because of the excellent weather, there were also massive numbers of people and pedestrians. Perfect conditions and exactly what I would describe as the ice cold water. There was no return! I stood there in my skirt, pullover and ankle boots. But I tried to be as normal as I could. And that was the deal. No one cared.

After we finished the checkout process my wife comes up with a great idea. She told me to walk to the local bakery with her and get some food for our way back home. Uff… I just managed the reception situation and should now jump into a crowded place? What a great idea! I am sure that there is absolutely no one on the streets. They will be empty. Because no one is doing breakfast on sunday morning. No one. And I won’t meet anyone, because everyone is at home sleeping… I am very sure that every street in Hamburg is empty on Sunday morning. Nobody. Absolutely nobody. (I think you got the point, right?)

And as if somebody has known, the steeets were totally crowded. Full of people enjoying their breakfast, enjoying the morning sun. Even the bakery we wanted to buy some snacks had a bunch of people waiting in front of – because it was too crowded inside. And to be fair: that was too much for me! I wasn’t couraged enough to go into the shop between a bunch of people.

Practice, practice and practice

Right before you jump in such situations, you’ll have to practice a lot. No matter which gender you are walking in heels looks terrible if you aren’t safe in those shoes. If you tutter, lurch or do not manage to walk elegantly, you should practice, practice and again practice walking in heels. You can do that at home. Even if you don’t want to disturb your neighbours, you can walk on carpet instead of tiles floor. You also could decide to practice in the morning, when probably everyone is leaving their houses, so you do not disturb as well. By the way, parking areas are perfect practice places on weekend or holidays, because no one is there and walking on concrete feels a lot different to carpet, tiles or other surfaces. The night is a perfect time to practice in public as well, because it’s dark and maybe the streets are empty. 

A good resource for training walking in heels is youtube. You find so many videos there – and yes you are reading that right. If you do not have a friend, girlfriend or other person who is good or excellent in walking heels and can give you tipps while training, use youtube video tutorials to gather information and hints on how to perfectly walk in your shoes. There are techniques in how to improve your walk. And keep in mind: every heel is different. So you maybe should never try them on and go outside without trying to walk in them one single meter before. 

Use parties, carnival and other events, where it isn’t a big deal wearing them. Halloween is by the way a perfect, extraordinary event for that. Because you “just” dress up. And how about dressing up as a female zombie or nurse wearing red, nice pumps? And concluding: there is only one thing you have to do… have fun wearing your heels in public! 

What do you think about the topic? Should men wear heels too? And if not, why do you think it isn’t a good idea to do it? Tell me your opinion below in the comments! I am looking forward for more perspectives on that topic. Best!