The story of this post is “actually” told very quickly. The key words are communication and acceptance! Honest acceptance. Because if you don’t talk to each other now and behave in a solution-oriented way, or allow your partner to, but still constantly doubt, you can end the relationship right now. Sounds drastic, but it is so.
And I don’t mean that the relationship is over because the partner wears women’s clothes. It is much more crucial because the couple seems to have nothing to say to each other and does not talk *genuinely* with each other.
But that can be worked on too!
Seek conversation before the head takes over
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The most important thing in any relationship is to talk to each other. This is truly nothing new and yet very few do it *right*.
Either it’s the stressful job that drives a marriage to communicative ruin, or it’s the boring daily grind where it’s all about “who takes out the garbage?” or “do we still have butter?” anyway. People only inquire about each other’s feelings because that’s the way it’s done. Nevertheless, there is only limited interest.
What the other person really feels or is thinking, what he or she is currently thinking about and what the wishes for the future are, are questions that are not asked very often.
And exactly there lies the problem! Probably the majority of all partners who catch their man wearing women’s clothes immediately think about whether the man no longer loves them, is gay or wants to change sex. This is closely followed by the pressing questions of whether it is their own fault. Immediate doubts of having done something wrong or not being attractive enough.
And the longer we play something out in our heads, the more real it becomes. We maneuver ourselves into strange waters and get into abstruse streams of thought that don’t have to be, burden us and are even wrong.
Do you care – really?
And at the moment when genuine interest is shown to him with open questions, insight into thinking and feelings is granted, a basic understanding can be generated.
And with interest is not meant that one must like it. Quite the opposite! We are all fundamentally different. Only the crucial question is, how much do we accept that the other person is different?
When I actively told my partner, because it simply belongs to me and is a big part of my personality, she instinctively did everything right. I myself told her in a relaxed setting. Loosely in a bar. Of course, it’s a big draw that I draw when I entrust her with such information. But she has a right to know! Because if it becomes more serious, the other case would be: she finds ladies’ panties. Not so great either, which might go straight through her head.
But how does it look if you (woman) know it then? Do you then say you accept it? You accept *him*? Can we do it without reservations? Or is it forever written all over our faces that we’re just trying to understand, but actually deeply rejecting it?
Just go with it!
As the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. And why enemy, by the way? If you were to ask my wife how she feels about me wearing women’s clothes: Well, she simply goes along with it. Sometimes she even picks out new stuff for me! And sometimes we just do a photo shoot with new things 😊. We’ve been able to incorporate it into our relationship beautifully because it’s not a big deal to her either.
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And through Amazon Wardrobe (affiliate link) we can “try” even more and test without risk for 7 days. There we have already made many a catch – yes, even them.
Well and meanwhile I am even for the whole family a kind of influencer, what new feminine fashion.
Accept and really mean it
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Because there is also simply the possibility not to accept it. Or to ask him not to do it in the presence. To agree that it is only private… he does it only for himself, or, or, or!
But those who allow it, “permit” it and then refuse it in the presence, do not behave consistently and it reveals immensely great difficulties in dealing with each other and communication.
Or how it can go too
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Yes I say “can” but absolutely not must. Because, that my wife supports me is not rare, but how she does it is. She is one hundred percent behind me and the project. She wants to protect me, and at the same time let me live it out. Sometimes my fantasy finds a place in our “closeness” and sometimes I live it out all by myself.
What is important is what we feel and experience together and what makes a couple. Are we satisfied with ourselves? Do we define ourselves by appearances? The job or our luxury apartment? Is it the children? Or do we define ourselves as a couple only by the two of us?
And if that is the case, the heaven of love is open for all time and with all the quarrels, niceties and experiences.
This perfectly describes the relationships between me and my girlfriend. She is accepting it. Even buying me new things. And we enjoy it together, but I also do it for my own.