My husband secretly puts on women’s clothes
First of all, welcome to the club. Many men do that, but most of them not publicly but secretly. Some of them also incredibly gladly. And others again with full devotion and fulfillment.
The reasons for this are enormously varied. And yet they are usually reduced to two main points.
The first point is gender identity. Men, or generally people, who wear the clothes of the opposite sex, are also called crossdressers. They should not be compared with transsexuals, homosexuals or drag queens. The latter wear women’s clothes overdressed, deliberately caricatured and with extreme make-up. And the first two groups have “only” discovered love for the same sex. Nothing else.
Why does he do it?
When a man slips into women’s clothing, at least in my experience, he feels attractive, alive, and sometimes sexy – but definitely fulfilled. Women’s clothing just gives so much more. The fabrics, the colors, the cuts. The men’s department cannot do this. Because it is the monotonous clothing consisting of bright, usually white shirt, colored tie, dark suit and brown or black suit shoes, which simply does not anturned.
In addition, it can be the fabrics that feel absolutely incredible that complete the wearing experience. It is the coolness of satin and silk on the skin. It’s the tightness of some clothes so that the silhouette invites you to look. And it is the swinging dance of the dress or skirt hem on the nylon stockings, which makes the heart beat absolutely high.
Of course I feel comfortable in any fashionable clothing, no question. Because for me, it’s very often about the combination. Nevertheless, there is nothing like soft flowing blouses, tight-fitting skirts, high and pointed pumps. Even if the breathing has to be extremely shallow to fake the perfect figure. And even if you have to adapt your movement to the clothes, so that really nothing peaks through.
It is also rather a ritual of dressing up, starting with the underwear. Because both panties and bra – if one is worn – have to match in color and are coordinated with each other. The careful unrolling of the nylon stockings over the legs upward, feels thereby as logically consistent following step simply well. If a color-coordinated blouse or top or dress is chosen, it will of course match the things underneath. Color-coordinated even more so if the same is slightly transparent, short and tight or transparent. The choice of the skirt as a statement completes the whole ritual with the right blouse or top. Tight and business like? Short and daring? Colorful and therefore expressive? In any case, the final closing of the zipper of skirt and dress with the resulting “zzzzip” and the examination of the now resulting silhouette in the mirror is a declaration of love to yourself. Now hopped into the matching shoes – also the sliding in and staying in the tight shoe is a very nice moment and rounds off the whole look.
The (wearing) feeling
So, if I may now summarize the first of the two points, these are exactly these things and terms around “low-fitting”, “tight-fitting” or “flat-breathing” exactly the aspects that my girlfriend summarizes as “Well, if man (or woman) wants to be beautiful, she (or he) just has to suffer very often…”.
The second point is homosexuality. Nowhere is it written that your man must be gay if he wears women’s clothes. It is also not a psychological disorder. According to doctors, this is only the case if the behavior is really acutely life-restricting. In other words: it becomes a problem in the job, everyday life or even in the family.
The most important thing for couples is to seek an enlightening and appreciative conversation. Thus, this fable can either be tolerated, lived out without the knowledge of the woman or just with her knowledge, knowingly used as elements in the relationship. Some even cultivate rituals and show themselves to the outside world. In our relationship we are still far away from this, but we often joke about doing it now and today. In private, I already live it out and – depending on the day’s mood and mental state – also wear the clothes at the desk, breakfast table as well as on the sofa or when family comes to visit.
But I’m by no means calling for you to fill your (or your) entire closet with the new unknown now. Quite the opposite. But simply to respect and allow. In essence, he still remains the same!
By the way, there is no more vulnerable moment than the one of picking out and trying on clothes together in stores.
Common reason
So happened the very first time shortly before the fifth season. I told my partner my special situation barely a few weeks before. And she enjoyed the fragility of me in the dressing room, as I stood there in a black mini-skirt and black glitter top, and she suddenly left the dressing room with the words: I’ll just get something great.
“At that moment, even the dumbest person realizes that she’s probably not getting the clothes for herself,” I thought as I nervously tugged the black belly top into place, trying to make it longer than it is.
She certainly pulled the curtain aside, too far for my taste, and stood in front of me with a bra and a red sequin sparkle dress in her hands.
It was then another evening of spirits, lady dresses, and most of all posing for cell phone photos. But it was one thing above all: a vote of confidence.
BOOK: “Help, my husband wears women’s clothes” 📕
Out now: A humorous all-around with numbers, data, facts and stories as well as experienced situations. You get completely new perspectives on the subject and perspectives on what you can do if your man wears women’s clothing, or even if you are the man who does it and you would like to teach it to your partner.
And what happens next?
Well, and how can I say? We both have never regretted it, as you will be able to read from time to time in this blog.
Order him something nice that you can identify yourself with. It is not about that it degenerates completely. But you have it a bit in the hand 🙂. I’ve linked a few great stores and online stores under Where do I store that definitely have great selections of fashionable dresses, skirts, and heels in larger sizes and cuts that fit men better.
What are your thoughts on this? Are you yourself a man who likes to show off in skirts or heels? Or are you the partner of a man who does?
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